Somebody’s sleeping in my bed… (Did you sing that in your Dru Hill voice?! Lol)

It’s about that time y’all!

Time to sleep train my baby!

I need help- Should I get a baby monitor? Should I lay in bed with him until he falls asleep? Should I allow a time that is OK for him to come into my room? Should I let him cry it out?

I mean he’s only 5!

Yes FIVE! …Judge ya mama 🤚🏾

See, it has been my son and I since he was 1 years old. I had just purchased my home and was settling into our new lifestyle, as well as being a new homeowner in a new area. As you enter my house, you will enter his room and the guest room first. You have to walk through the family areas to get to my room. At 1 years old, I wasn’t comfortable putting him on a completely different side of my house alone. Shit, I was scared too. This was the first time in 5 years I would be sleeping alone as well. And god forbid there was an intruder- I wasn’t giving him first dibs to my son! (I know God protects us and we do have a home security system) I was also still breastfeeding at the time, so co-sleeping was our normal (In the apartment we shared, his crib was by our bed. When he would wake up at around 5 am to nurse, he remained in our bed).

Well fast forward, my son is now 5 years old and will be entering kindergarten this fall. I want him OUT of my bed and I have valid reasons why I should be able to sleep alone! With it just being us, we are really close and spend a lot of time together. As we grow as Mother and son, I do want him to have the opportunity to grow individually. While he does have friends and an active social life, we are still best friends (Yup my broke best friend). As he is entering a school where we barely know anyone, I want him to be more independent and stand on his own. Yes, I feel him sleeping in his own bed can help to encourage that growth/independence.

As I am now more seriously dating, there will be a time where he NEEDS to be in his own room (Mama got her groove back!) In no way do I want him to think or feel I am putting him out of my bed for a man. This is why he needs to be out NOW before that happens lol. Because I am not that mama to have by baby in the bed with a man- nope not happening 🙅🏽‍♀️

Another thing- I am sick of waking up sore 😫 This kid literally sleeps in the small of my back. When I move him, he ends up sideways with his feet still directly in my back! I have a beautiful king size bed that feels like a twin because we’re both on the edge of the bed. Not to mention the ugly bed rail that he insists must be there in case he falls 🙄

I need my bed back. I need my space. I know there will come a time when he won’t want to be under me but I’ve had 5 years. He will always be my baby. We are close and will always find time for each other. In the meantime- I’ll take all the couch cuddles!

Sooooo Yes, I am sleep training my 5 year old and I still can’t help but to feel a little conflicted. As much as I am ready for it, I am not ready for it. This is bittersweet. Last night, it took me almost an hour to leave his bed after he fell asleep. I checked on him at least three times. When I got to my bed, I could not fall asleep! Every little move or sound I heard, I would sit up, thinking he was awake. It took me almost 2 hours to fall asleep and then at 2 am, guess who walks into my room! He was not upset or afraid and at that moment, I knew we were going to be OK.

But I’m still getting that baby monitor!

Feel free to share some suggestions to help make this transition as smooth as possible!

Keara L. Elam

Modern Day Black Mama

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